I think my daughter put a lot at stake when she openly told me about Pilou. We often have implicit agreements with people that we don't want to talk about. We haven't vocalized them, but we know that there is an agreement.

Being a parent/leader means we make tough decisions. We know we intend to help our kids develop healthy relationships (and dental health). It can still be heartbreaking.

Resting and finding ways to nurture ourselves is vital, especially when our world is full of changes. Self-care in orienting towards pleasure is important, not only for our own health but also for our family and community. When I slow down, like I have this year, I notice how every moment of being alive is valuable.

Consent is about adapting to what is right at the moment. And be kind to yourself and keep in mind that eating crisps for dinner is not too bad. Serving crisps for dinner, I reminded myself that a "normal" dinner is something that depends on the culture and the age in which we live. And today's normal dinner is not compatible with climate care.

Consent educators teach consent language, and learning to communicate better brings so much positivity and joy for all involved. Not to mention, you get more of what you want😉❤

Curiosity is the spark of learning. Fun and pleasure are great motivators. Find that spark of interest in your children and follow it. Which are your child's favorite senses and learning styles? What makes their eyes shine? What do they like to talk about and do?

The gift of space, to let others speak, is one of the most precious gifts can give. We can sharpen our listening skills by practicing. We also practice presence and tuning into what other people want. Practicing taking speaking turns is an excellent habit for when your kids get older.

Learning to take a no takes time. Learning to know when to put yourself aside and when not to is a life-journey. Back in the old days, it was easier to make children obey. Spank them, punish them, use your power as a parent to threaten them.

Knowing something is both theory and practice. Your brain gets it, but does your body? Can you apply your knowledge?

This is why The Wheel of Consent is so fabulous. It is the perfect teaching tool to gain awareness for yourself firstly and then to use when communicating with your kids.

Some rules are necessary when many people live together. Others are a consequence of a few people violating other people's boundaries, like rules forbidding snowball fights. There is nothing wrong with snowball fights until someone throws an icy one straight into your face. This far, guidelines around snowball fights have been enough for my children, and I hope it will continue that way.

When was the last time that you sat down and talked through the agreements you have in your family? The explicit ones and even more importantly, the implicit ones?

When things are not working out, it's good to look at implicit agreements or update the explicit agreements. What are we expecting from each other? What have we agreed to do? What are the rules that come along with living in our family and what do you have a choice about?

Consent is not black and white. With people we love, we aren't always asking about everything before we touch them. It also gets too simplified if words are the only accepted consent indicator or always required. As a language teacher, I'm passionate about consent language and the importance of language. As a bodyworker, I am equally passionate about body language. It's beautiful to have practices in which we combine those. We need both. 💖

Learning about power and the responsibility of having power is an important part of consent training. I often point out to my son that the more power and privilege you have, the more responsibility you have. Mummy can buy candy when she wants to (privilege)– but she has to work (responsibility).

Do you argue a lot with your kids? Turning your arguments into mindful consent practice might help. Negotiating is best consent practice you can give our kids. Arguments turn into consent opportunities when we mindfully use consent language. We can support our consent conversations by asking, "Who is it for?"

This is my daughter, and I'm so proud of her. ❤

My 7-year old daughter reminds me of slowing down and celebrate the beauty of being alive.

She also reminds me of our need to play and how playing is the best way of learning. Deej Juventin's, my Sexological Bodywork teacher, uses the model "Engage, Study, Activate". So true, if we are not engaged and motivated, learning doesn't come easy. And as another way of my favorite teachers says, "Easy does it." Steve Hoskinson – founder of Organic Intelligence.

How do you start teaching your kids consent? Let your kid/teen be your teacher. Start as early as you can. Start today. It doesn't need to take more than ten seconds. Celebrate starting no matter the outcome!

The pleasure of getting a no and the pleasure of thanking someone for it.

Today I grabbed my son and kissed him on his head. Before I learned the Wheel of Consent, I never asked "Is this for me, or for the other person?" Today this question guides and clarifies interactions I have with people and especially my kids.

Who is the kiss for? In this case, it quickly becomes apparent that it wasn't Serving because he doesn't want to Accept my gift. He immediately says, "No mum." He was not in Accept even though my intention was to be in Serve and affirm to him much I love him and how wonderful he is. (Serve-Accept dynamic)

But my intention was also to Take because I was doing it for me as well. It makes me happy to touch and kiss him. Was I in the shadow of the Wheel of Consent when not checking in before I touched him?

How much of this interaction is complicated by me trying to Give and Receive at the same time? Is it even possible to Give & Receive at the same time. I would love to hear your take on it.

I'll come back to touching and the Take-Allow dynamic because it is such an essential part of the Wheel. It is also the quadrants that often challenge us, as well as bring out tears of gratitude. And you, as a parent have a unique opportunity with your child. Only you can practice Take-Allow with your kids and include touch in it. No one else can. Or?

I'll throw that question out for the rapidly growing and beautiful Wheel of Consent community. And a big air kiss for my son who makes me happy with his clear no.

At my Cuddle Parties people are encouraged to experiment with saying "Thank you" when getting a no. We are thanking the other person for taking care of their boundaries, for being honest and for communicating their limits clearly. And it feels good to say “Thank you!” that it truly a win-win ❤

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Today I’m setting out on a 21-day Consent Journey with my kids, age 5 & 7. I’ll share exercises and/or consent conversations from everyday life with my two kids and partner.